Marriage, Military, and Life: A Personal Update

Image of Nature and LifeThis isn’t your regularly-scheduled marketing or business growth article. So if you’re looking for that, check out my next post on Wednesday.

This article covers some recent family happenings and the subsequent deeper thought and reflection I’ve had.

I have a younger brother, Alexander. He’s a great kid. Well, he’s 24 years old so I should no longer refer to him as a “kid”  (nah, he’s still a kid hehe).

We’ve always been close. We share humble beginnings and both have driven and ambitious spirits. Alex is a Nuclear Engineer in the Navy (bright guy) and he’s recently returned from his first deployment.

But things aren’t all hunky-dory. He received the dreaded “Dear John” letter (err… email).

So, he’s devastated.

He’s had trouble eating, drinking, sleeping…you name it. But our family has come together to support him. In fact, several of  have already flown (or driven) to visit him as a show of support.

We only wish we saw him on better terms.

Marriage and military

Alex married months before his 20th birthday. I consider that too young for marriage; maybe you don’t. But I also thought it was a bold move to make for he and his girlfriend of only 1 year. Especially knowing the Navy would have him relocate several times during the upcoming years.

That’s hard. I don’t know how military families manage. It’s such a challenge with the adapting and strength involved. I commend you if you’re (happily and functionally) in a military family who is subject to moving often and time spent away from deployed family members.

It makes me think about the decisions we make which have such lasting effects. Decisions that will result in substantial emotional, physical, and financial investment.

We have to weigh our options carefully. We have to enjoy life in the present but always have an eye on the future.

Your family

With any luck, all is well with you and your family.

Nobody is perfect. Life takes some unexpected twists and turns. Sadly, divorce isn’t even the “worst of the worst” news these days. It’s fairly commonplace.

I wish it wasn’t so common.

I wish we valued relationships, commitments, marriage and each other more.

One day things may turn around for us (as a race). Or perhaps we’ll just continue to spiral downward. Who knows.

All I can say, is remain strong through your times of trouble.

Pray. Rest. Go for a drive to clear your mind. Whatever works for you, just know that you aren’t alone.

We’re all on this big rock together. We have family and friends to lean on and in times like these, trust me, it’s amazing how much a few kind words can impact another person.

Through Alex’s experience, he and I have become closer. We’ve opened up and shared more in the past month than we have in the trailing 10 years. There are plenty of negative angles to focus on here but I choose to look at this as a positive experience.

Count your blessings.

Be there for others.

Weigh your options and decisions with care.

Smile and give thanks for this moment we’re sharing right now :)


Photo: hulagway


8 Responses to Marriage, Military, and Life: A Personal Update
  1. Sarah Russell
    August 8, 2011 | 8:46 am

    Jon – So sorry that your brother is struggling with this, but I’m sure he’s grateful for all the support from you and your family. And I’m glad you’re able to see the positives in this situation that allow you and your brother to get even closer.

    Honestly, marriage is hard work, even without the stress that being in the military must add. I can’t even imagine how families make it work when you add children, relocations and deployments into the mix.

    Sending you and your family strength for these challenging times!!!

    • Jon
      August 8, 2011 | 9:01 pm

      Thanks, Sarah. Yeah, it’s lousy. He was ecstatic about having us all down there with him and it’s great to be welcoming him this week for his visit with us.

      Marriage like anything is hard work (well, not married here but I can agree). We appreciate being in your thoughts!

  2. Andrea
    August 8, 2011 | 5:52 pm

    I’m from Mexico ( 90% catholic where divorcing is a sin) and divorce here is becoming a very common thing with new couples. My parents are divorced and I know how hard it is for everybody.

    I hope your brother recovers soon and I’m glad that this awful situation for him has got you closer.

    • Jon
      August 8, 2011 | 9:02 pm

      Hi Andrea,

      Sad, right? I’m sorry your folks split but I hope you’ve all recovered since then. Thank you for the well-wishes and welcome to the site.

  3. Bryan McHeyzer
    August 9, 2011 | 2:47 am

    Hi Jon,
    Sorry to hear about Alex and his marriage breakdown.
    I have been through a divorce so I can understand just what he is going through.

    Good to hear that he has family support … it is a great help I know as I was lucky to have my family’s support.

    If it helps at all time will heal most wounds, hopefully he will heal soonor than later.

    Thanks for sharing this private part of your life with us.

    Cheers
    Bryan

    • Jon
      August 9, 2011 | 8:33 pm

      Hi Bryan,

      Great to see you around here. Thanks for your thoughts about this, sounds like you know right where my bro’s head is at. I’ve always enjoyed that little saying about time healing wounds. Very much appreciated, B!

  4. Adrienne
    August 10, 2011 | 4:10 pm

    I’ve been wondering where you’ve been so I’m happy to hear that you have been taking care of family matters and everyone is healthy. At the beginning of your post I was kind of scared to keep reading.

    I’m sure your family appreciates everyone pulling together for Alexander. He’s not alone, no one enjoys receiving those types of notices. We don’t deserve them but I’m sure he can learn a lot from you my friend.

    I have an old friend whose son is also in the military and recently married. They’ve only been married a year now and already have their first child. I continue to pray that it all works out for them because that life can be hard on a spouse when they have to up and move so often. I’ll keep your brother and his family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Just glad to know you are okay and all is well. We have so much to be thankful for so at least everyone has their health.

    Thanks Jon and have a wonderful afternoon.

    • Jon
      August 11, 2011 | 9:42 pm

      I’m not going anywhere, Adrienne ;) You know this!

      Thanks for your support and encouraging words. I’ll pass them along (he knows what I’m up to online). Your friend’s son doesn’t have an easy road ahead, nor does his wife, but I wish them the best. Strength, communication and faith should see them through. Great to hear from you, my friend.

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